If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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