We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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