it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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