you win again, gameday.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
