Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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