I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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