I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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