you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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