reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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