She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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