Ambien. No doubt about it.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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