His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Rumble strips road head = magical
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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