I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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