Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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