Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
