It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
