I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
