i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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