My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
