i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize