Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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