If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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