was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
