I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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