ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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