I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
