You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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