this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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