wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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