What a fucking waste of an outfit
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
