Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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