Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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