i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
