Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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