you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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