Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It's blow job season.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
