she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
