maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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