it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize