they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
