i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
