Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
