Whod you bang
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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