oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
