im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
tell me about the eggs
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