We need to rekindle our bromance
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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