everyone is single if you try hard enough
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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