why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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