I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
