I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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