she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
