It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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