i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize