A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
