OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
