Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize
