you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm getting married
To pizza
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
