my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
