your room smells of hookers.
And success
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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