Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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