he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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